stalin

stalin
Showing posts with label Stupid Shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stupid Shit. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

You're doing it wrong

Officer shoots self in leg during firearms training

An officer's gun accidentally discharged while training with the Passaic County Sheriff's Department on Tuesday, causing a leg injury.
The corrections officer, who is with the sheriff's department, was transported to St. Joseph's Regional Medical Center, spokesman Bill Maer said.
The officer was treated for a "non-serious" flesh wound on the leg and was released within an hour.


I wonder who/what startled him?
It's called a negligent discharge you nimrod.
Don't you feel safe New Jerseyians?
Some peoples heroes I swear.

Thursday, July 20, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

East Texas man pulled over on stolen shopping scooter

- Police in the East Texas town of Longview made an unusual traffic stop this week.
52-year-old Edward Dickard was pulled over after police say he stole a motorized shopping scooter from the local Walmart Wednesday morning.
Police say Dickard just drove right out of the store with it. A little bit later, they spotted their suspected scooter thief driving it down U.S. Highway 259 just north of the city limits.

What no DUI?
I was thinking this would be an alcohol related situation.
Some peoples kids.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

You gotta see this fucking thing

This is better than the guy who advertises needing a beer run in Decatur every weekend.
I shit you not.

This 1991 Pontiac Grand Prix is 50% off on Craigslist

The phrase "there are no words" is used to describe something so outlandish that it's better to let the situation explain itself. In the case of this 1991 Pontiac Grand Prix for sale on Chicago's Craigslist, there are words. In fact, there are many words to describe this car. So many that we don't quite know where to begin. 
Let's start with the listing itself. It doesn't have a lot of information, but it touches on the important points.
"One of a kind 1991 Pontiac Grand Prix. This car was an original 4dr that has been cut and sectioned. Runs and drives. Needs some finish work. $1500"
Yes, this Grand Prix is "one of a kind" and could use "some finish work," which could be the automotive understatement of the year. Maybe they meant to say "some parts don't need finish work, most do." Being a 1991 Grand Prix, the parts that don't need "finish work" probably need regular work.

Holy sheepshit Batman that is some kinda fucked up.
I'd need to get it at 75% off  to work my Ed China like magic though.

Let's ask a Saudi Arabian bout that.


Or maybe a Taliban or any other tango type motherfucker.
I would call her a guided missile or maybe a half smart bomb.
It's so easy to be a smug know it all asshole where English is spoken.
Funny that,huh?

Sunday, July 9, 2017

You fucked up you trusted the government

Are goats taking jobs from union workers?

A battle is brewing at Western Michigan University this summer between a group of hungry goats and a labor union.
The 400-member American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees has filed a grievance contending that the work the goats are doing in a wooded lot is taking away jobs from laid-off union workers.
"AFSCME takes protecting the jobs of its members very seriously and we have an agreed-upon collective bargaining agreement with Western Michigan," said Union President Dennis Moore. "We expect the contract to be followed, and in circumstances where we feel it's needed, we file a grievance."
The grievance alleges that the university did not notify the union that it was planning to use goat crews on campus, according to a chief steward report supplied to the Battle Creek Enquirer.


 I have it on good authority these goats self-identify as human.
Goats are people too asshole.
Therefore we must respect their decision to do work Americans won't do.
Even if some union clock watchers have to sit home on unemployment.
We are a nation of goats and I for one will not stand by while speciesists use human privilege to deny these fine goats the ability to provide for their families.

Sunday, July 2, 2017

Unpossible

I was told there would never be water in California ever again.

Lake Tahoe nears maximum capacity as snow melt adds 12 billion gallons of water

 A heat wave that has been impacting the western United States has thawed out snowpack on the Sierra Nevada and poured more than 12 billion gallons of water into Lake Tahoe.
High temperatures in South Lake Tahoe, California, were above 80 degrees from June 16 to 25, according to weather.com meteorologist Linda Lam. Temperatures reached 90 degrees on June 19, setting a new daily record. Through June 26, it has been the fourth warmest June on record in the area. The extended heat wave accelerated the snow melt of the above-average snowpack in the northern and central Sierra Nevada mountains.
Currently, the lake is at 6,229 feet, according to the U.S. Geological Survey. The water level sits 6 inches above the natural rim of the lake which is at 6,223 feet. 

Lying liars telling lies they must work for CNN.
It's a good thing too I was really worried about those delta smelts.
There's a link to a story about 2 billion people becoming climate refugees by 2100.
I'm not going out on a limb here by stating it'll never happen.
Only gubmints could do something like that.
If you told me there would be that number because of commies,7th century savages or sundry other kleptocrats and liberals I would believe you.
I wish there was a climate book in Vegas on predictions I could get rich even on the odds I would get on all the doomsday predictions.

That poor fucking kid