Showing posts with label drunks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drunks. Show all posts

Friday, August 18, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

Florida woman drunkenly bites man's fishing line,swims away with lure

A Florida fisherman got quite the catch Tuesday -- but it happened to be an intoxicated 22-year-old woman instead of a prized fish, according to police.

Authorities were called to the St. Johns County Pier at 6 p.m. after a fisherman said a woman bit his fishing line and swam off with his lure, Action News Jax reported.
The fisherman told deputies that Alexandria Turner, 22, appeared to be intoxicated when she swam up to his fishing line and cursed at him, according to a police report.
The 22-year-old woman then allegedly bit the fishing line and swam away with the rigging.

A true mermaid whodathunkit.
If I was fishing I'd probably be drinking something so probably a keeper for me YMMV.
I'm kinda slutty like that.
Gotta be the water cuz when I'm in Florida I always feel crazy.
Some peoples kids man.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

Man peed on family of 3 at Metallica concert

GLENDALE, Ariz. - An Albuquerque man faces disorderly conduct and indecent exposure charges after urinating on a family of three at a Metallica concert in Glendale Friday night, according to court documents.
Arizona Department of Public Safety troopers arrested Daniel Francis Daddio, 44, Friday night at University of Phoenix Stadium.
The victim family -- a 10-year-old girl, her father and his wife -- told police they "felt warm liquid washing over their backs and legs."

He deserved a beatdown.
Some peoples kids man.

Friday, August 4, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

Man,77,arrested after dousing girlfriend in sex lube

A 77-year-old Florida man doused his 72-year-old girlfriend in “sex lube” after his request to get intimate was rejected by the victim, police allege.
According to an arrest affidavit, Roger Archambault squirted the lubricant “all over the victim’s shoulder and neck” around 11 PM Friday. Archambault, cops said, “wanted to have sex with the victim” and acted “when she denied him.”

I could be wrong but you gotta get the lube in the right place papaw.
If you need lube you ain't the dude.
Some peoples grandparents I swear.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Time for a snack

Those NASCAR rednecks will ruin Indy they said

I'm pretty sure that's David Letterman.

You don't hear that everyday

Woman lit boyfriend on fire,uses urine to put him out

A Pennsylvania woman was nabbed after cops say she lit her boyfriend on fire and then used urine to put out the blaze.
Leigh Ann Sepelyak, 38, allegedly set her beau ablaze early Sunday following a heated argument in the basement of her parents’ Penn Hills home, CBS Pittsburgh reported.
The woman doused her boyfriend, who was not identified, in gasoline before using a lit cigarette to ignite the blaze, police said. Penn Hills police chief Howard Burton says Sepelyak then threw at least two buckets of urine on him. The couple had been urinating in buckets as to not disturb her parents.

Surprisingly not Florida.
I must be love she pissed on him to put out fire.
More sugar and spice.
If I'm mad enough to light you on fire you're dead meat.
My guess is this is an alcohol infused situation.
Either that or the heroin ran out.
Some peoples kids.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

Probably overdosed on smoked turkey.
Some peoples kids.

Couple unknowingly drives onto interstate with drunk man on trunk

It's a story almost too strange to be true.
A drunk man passes out and goes for a ride on the trunk of a stranger's car down a busy Memphis interstate, and neither the drunk man nor the driver knew it.
It's amazing this man didn't fall off the car and get run over.
He is lucky to say the least. The man crawled up on the back of the car with a trunk that's only about 14 inches wide.
He was apparently curled up and passed out. Thankfully an MPD officer spotted him, but not before he went on a ride that he doesn't remember; a ride the driver will never forget.
"There's no way to describe it. It's unbelievable," said Carl Webb.

This why you don't back in to your parking space.
I don't think I've been that fucked up before.
I could be wrong bout dat do.
I wonder if Wirecutter has been?
Damn whiskey!

Monday, March 13, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

Police tase suspect in Pickachu onesie during brawl outside A-town bar

A wild fight outside Ballston’s A-Town Bar & Grill last night resulted in two suspects being tased by police, including one man who was brawling while wearing a Pikachu onesie.
The incident happened around 9 p.m. on the 1000 block of N. Randolph Street. According to police, it started when the man in the Pikachu costume, Steven Goodwine, Jr., tried to pick a fight with the bouncers at A-Town after being kicked out of the bar’s weekly “Sunday Funday” festivities.
Goodwine “became aggressive with the door staff and Mr. Reid attempted to intervene,” according to what may be the longest item ever on an Arlington County Police Department daily crime report (below).
Police arrived and tried to break up the fight between Goodwine and Reid, according to the crime report. The men allegedly stopped fighting with each other and started fighting with police. Both suspects were tased during the fracas and Goodwine tried to flee, but both were eventually taken into custody and no one was seriously injured, police say.

That is gonna be an expensive drunk right there.
I know exactly how the scenario played  out I've seen it a million times.
Some peoples kids I swear.

I've got to admit something though.
That deserves a beatdown maybe an extenuating circumstances defense is in order.
Or a double dumbass defense will carry the day.