Showing posts with label drunks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drunks. Show all posts

Friday, November 24, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

Naked drunken man drives into tree while having sex

LA GRANDE, Wash. (AP) — Authorities say a man who was drunk, naked and having sex with a woman while driving south of Tacoma missed a curve and struck a tree.
Washington State Patrol spokeswoman Brooke Bova says the crash happened at about 6 p.m. Wednesday on Mountain Highway East near La Grande.
Bova says the woman, who was also naked, was hospitalized with broken bones. Bova says her 3-month-old child in the backseat was uninjured.

Some peoples kids I swear.

Thursday, October 19, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

Man sues United Airlines after man allegedly pees on his leg

A New Jersey man has filed a lawsuit against United Airlines claiming the airline did little to help after a drunken passenger peed on him during a cross-country flight earlier this year.
Daniel Card, of Pequannock, claims the airline allowed a visibly intoxicated man to board the flight, then made no efforts to intervene as the man relieved himself on Card's leg. Card was subsequently forced to endure a flight from Los Angeles to Newark covered in another man's pee, with allegedly little help from the flight crew.
"As the flight was getting ready to take off, the passenger seated in 24E took out his penis, and aimed it at Card and proceeded to urinate all over Card’s leg, while Card was confined to his seat due to an imminent departure of the flight," the suit, first reported on by Courthouse News, alleges.
Card says he attempted to resist the pee, but was unsuccessful in rousing the assailant from his drunken stupor.

A few swift rights to his facial region would've stopped that shit.
Some peoples kids.
The hits keep coming for United.

Monday, September 18, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

Snatched bacon leads to Waffle House arrest

An argument over stolen bacon at a local Waffle House led to the arrest of a 28-year-old man for disorderly intoxication.

According to his Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report, the man took bacon off of a stranger’s plate and ate it in front of her.
When the victim told him he needed to replace the bacon, he demanded more food.
She asked him to move away from her, but he refused.
Other patrons stepped in to defend her and he tried to fight with them, the report said.

Nothing like this ever happens to me.
I'm guessing my charisma and charm are the cause.
Or it could be I'm 6'3" 250.
If you see me with bacon stand clear and keep your hands to yourself please.
I don't wanna hurt my hands with your face.
Hopefully they got in a few stiff rights to the head before Johnny Law got there. 

Friday, August 18, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

Florida woman drunkenly bites man's fishing line,swims away with lure

A Florida fisherman got quite the catch Tuesday -- but it happened to be an intoxicated 22-year-old woman instead of a prized fish, according to police.

Authorities were called to the St. Johns County Pier at 6 p.m. after a fisherman said a woman bit his fishing line and swam off with his lure, Action News Jax reported.
The fisherman told deputies that Alexandria Turner, 22, appeared to be intoxicated when she swam up to his fishing line and cursed at him, according to a police report.
The 22-year-old woman then allegedly bit the fishing line and swam away with the rigging.

A true mermaid whodathunkit.
If I was fishing I'd probably be drinking something so probably a keeper for me YMMV.
I'm kinda slutty like that.
Gotta be the water cuz when I'm in Florida I always feel crazy.
Some peoples kids man.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

Man peed on family of 3 at Metallica concert

GLENDALE, Ariz. - An Albuquerque man faces disorderly conduct and indecent exposure charges after urinating on a family of three at a Metallica concert in Glendale Friday night, according to court documents.
Arizona Department of Public Safety troopers arrested Daniel Francis Daddio, 44, Friday night at University of Phoenix Stadium.
The victim family -- a 10-year-old girl, her father and his wife -- told police they "felt warm liquid washing over their backs and legs."

He deserved a beatdown.
Some peoples kids man.

Friday, August 4, 2017

You don't hear that everyday

Man,77,arrested after dousing girlfriend in sex lube

A 77-year-old Florida man doused his 72-year-old girlfriend in “sex lube” after his request to get intimate was rejected by the victim, police allege.
According to an arrest affidavit, Roger Archambault squirted the lubricant “all over the victim’s shoulder and neck” around 11 PM Friday. Archambault, cops said, “wanted to have sex with the victim” and acted “when she denied him.”

I could be wrong but you gotta get the lube in the right place papaw.
If you need lube you ain't the dude.
Some peoples grandparents I swear.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Time for a snack

Those NASCAR rednecks will ruin Indy they said

I'm pretty sure that's David Letterman.

You don't hear that everyday

Woman lit boyfriend on fire,uses urine to put him out

A Pennsylvania woman was nabbed after cops say she lit her boyfriend on fire and then used urine to put out the blaze.
Leigh Ann Sepelyak, 38, allegedly set her beau ablaze early Sunday following a heated argument in the basement of her parents’ Penn Hills home, CBS Pittsburgh reported.
The woman doused her boyfriend, who was not identified, in gasoline before using a lit cigarette to ignite the blaze, police said. Penn Hills police chief Howard Burton says Sepelyak then threw at least two buckets of urine on him. The couple had been urinating in buckets as to not disturb her parents.

Surprisingly not Florida.
I must be love she pissed on him to put out fire.
More sugar and spice.
If I'm mad enough to light you on fire you're dead meat.
My guess is this is an alcohol infused situation.
Either that or the heroin ran out.
Some peoples kids.